


Give You My Heart To Break

by neerdowellwolf



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2017 IIHF Ice Hockey World Championships, Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Girl!Travis Konecny, Oral Sex, Pining, Rule 63, Vaginal Sex, Women in the NHL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 06:48:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14636313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neerdowellwolf/pseuds/neerdowellwolf
Summary: “Hi,” Travis says, like a question. As if she doesn’t know the conversation he’s trying to start. She closes the trunk and fiddles with her keys.“Look, I know you don’t want to talk about it.”“What makes you say that?” She asks and smiles, like she’s never done anything wrong in her whole life.“Running off to Spain was a clue,” he says. That gets her attention.





	Give You My Heart To Break

**Author's Note:**

> These two have become one of my favorite ships and if you are wondering why please refer to [this](https://hunkgame.tumblr.com/post/173864628048) and also [THIS](https://hunkgame.tumblr.com/post/173864659033/trappedundericehockey-12118). And please enjoy [TK at the beach](https://hunkgame.tumblr.com/post/173548070168/trancemoment-travis-konecny-making-sand-castles), it's not related, I just like it. 
> 
> This barely follows the actual timeline of the 2017-2018 season. Also I know almost nothing about how 2017 worlds went except for how it ended.

September, Philadelphia

Claude’s legs are still wobbly from the third day of training camp. He’d rushed through his shower routine so quickly he’d almost slipped on a slippery bit of tile. He hurries across the players’ lot, zipping his hoodie over his bare chest as he goes. From a few cars away he sees Travis lean so far into the trunk of her Land Rover that she’s almost resting on her belly.

“Hey!” He says from ten feet away, but she still jumps a little before turning around. He’s pretty good at pretending to be chill, but his pulse picks up and he’s not quite sure he totally nails casual as he approaches her. 

“Hi,” Travis says, like a question. As if she doesn’t know the conversation he’s trying to start. She closes the trunk and fiddles with her keys. 

“Look, I know you don’t want to talk about it.”

“What makes you say that?” She asks and smiles, like she’s never done anything wrong in her whole life.

“Running off to Spain was a clue,” he says. That gets her attention. 

“It was actually Morocco, we just had to go through Spain to get there.” Her eyes fly around the parking lot, looking anywhere but at him. Finally she takes a deep breath. “Look, G, I get it,” she says. “What happens in Cologne stays in Cologne.”

She’s so beautiful, still tan from a summer spent on lakes and in duck blinds, wide brown eyes that usually sparkle lot more than they are right now. “You know that’s not what I was going to say.”

When Travis finally looks at him she doesn’t flinch. “Sure, but that’s the gist isn’t it?”

Claude doesn’t get put on his heels often, but he’s thrown. He had a whole speech planned, he should have known better. “I guess so. I just want you to know you can still come to me about anything. Nothing’s changed.”

“Yeah, I know that. You’re a good captain,” she punches him in the shoulder. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “Can I go home now? I’m fucking wrecked.”

“Of course.” His stomach is in knots, but he tries to smile back like he means it, suddenly glad he put in his fake tooth for this conversation, as if it makes him less vulnerable. “See you tomorrow.”

-

May, Paris 

Claude doesn’t know who at Team Canada pulled the strings to get them this entire rooftop bar to themselves, but he resolves to find out and send them an edible arrangement or something. He can see the Eiffel tower from here, lit up against the dark sky, the lights of Paris spread as far as he can see. Claude leans back and tries to memorize the view. 

“Hey G,” Travis says as she slides up next to him. Her hair is pulled in a messy bun and she’s wearing the horrible mustard yellow fleece she loves so much.

“TK.” Claude bumps his shoulder against hers. “That jacket is an international incident. Don’t you have a Team Canada hoodie or six you could wear?”

“Everything was in a men’s cut. It’s insulting.” 

“That jacket is definitely men’s,” he says. They’re standing close enough that he can smell the coconut soap she uses sometimes.

“It’s the principle.” She grins at him and he feels the familiar nervous electric feeling he gets whenever she focuses her attention on him. “So, I’ve been thinking.” She bites softly at her bottom lip. “Since we’re in the city of love, instead of the city of brotherly love, maybe we could be a little less… brotherly.”

Claude almost chokes on his beer. “Jesus Christ, TK.”

She smiles widely. “It’s a good line, right? I thought of it earlier.” She puts her hand softly on his forearm. “I mean it though. It’s Europe, I thought maybe things could be different?”

“I know you meant it,” Claude says. He doesn’t move his arm, just stares at her fingers where they lay. “But we can’t, I’m still the Captain.”

“Ok, sure. I get it,” she says, but he doesn’t think she does. He lets her walk away anyway.

-

Claude spends the tournament like he’d spent the season, trying not to watch her too obviously. They move on from France to Germany and he misses the language like a phantom limb. Travis spends most of her time with the rest of the Kid Line and Claude tries to be relieved. He thinks they can win it right up until they don’t.

-

October, Philadelphia 

Claude rolls out of his bed on their first off day of the season to a stream of notifications from the team group chat. He scrolls to the first one. It’s from Simmer; _Pool Party! Come over anytime time after noon!_

He has no idea why Simmer is hosting a pool party in the middle of October, but he gets his answer when he open his weather app. High of 28 degrees? That’s today’s plan sorted.

He takes his time getting ready, running through his stretching routine, then ordering three cases of good beer for the vets and four cases of shitty beer for the rookies to be delivered to Simmer’s place. He showers and trims his beard, and tries not to examine his motives too closely.

-

It’s past one by the time he shows up and he can hear music as he rounds the side of the house. He keys in Simmer’s gate code and lets himself in. 

There are cheers as he enters the patio and he lifts his hands above his head revelling in the feeling of being with his team.

He hates that his eyes find TK first. She’s wearing a black bikini bottom and an orange top with straps that don’t match the tan lines across her back. She turns around slowly and smirks when she catches him looking. 

Claude goes to find Coots, because he always has the good sunscreen.

-

“G!” Leiersy yells at him. Claude had been zoning out on one of the loungers, half listening to Simmer and Coots talk about some TV show about robots or maybe aliens. He’s never heard of it. “G, get in here, we need a fourth for Chicken!”

Claude grins and takes his sunglasses off. “Ok but you should know I play to win.” He leaps into the pool which is just cold enough to be bracing. 

Once again Claude should probably have looked before he leapt, because standing next to Taylor and Provy is TK, who looks completely unbothered.

“Provy, you’re with me,” Leiersy says. “TK, you and G are going down.” He looks at them as if to challenge them to say something about the 6 inches of height differential there’s going to be between their pairs, but Claude just smiles.

“You’re so fucked.” He holds his fist out and TK bumps it lightly.

“I would just like to point out that I’m not getting on G’s shoulders because I’m the girl, it’s because I’m a better fighter than he is.” She kicks him in the shin and he rolls his eyes before dunking under the water and letting her slide onto his shoulders. 

When she’s in place he holds onto her thighs and stands up. She’s already shit talking Provy and Claude tries to concentrate on that instead of the feeling of her thighs against his neck and under his palms.

The actual fight is over laughably fast with all four of them tipping over almost immediately. It’s probably better that way, the last thing he needs is a bunch of pool party related injuries this early in the season. As it is he’s half hard just from just touching TK for all of 30 seconds.

He grabs a pool noodle and leans forward to float. “New ink?”

TK turns and stretches to look at the sleeve she definitely didn’t have in May. “Yeah, you like it?”

“It’s very you,” Claude says. 

Travis puts a foot on his chest and pushes off. “That’s what people say when they don’t like something.”

“Nah, I like it,” Claude says. “It looks good on you.” It’s probably a little too honest and maybe not appropriate all things considered, but Travis smiles. “Did you do a lot of hunting this summer?”

She lights up. “Yeah! I spent most of it up at the cabin. Bo finally forced me to learn how to cook

“How many things can you make now, three?”

She laughs. “I can cook duck three ways, does that count?”

Claude’s stomach flips over happily and they drift for a moment grinning stupidly at each other. Just as quickly he realizes it’s probably a bad idea and his expression must show it, because her face falls. 

“Ok, I’m gonna go,” she says, “anywhere else.”

-

After a few beers Claude heads into Simmer’s pool house. There’s someone in the washroom, so Claude waits outside, examining the Simmonds family photos lining the hallway. After a few minutes he’s starting to consider going inside to find a different one when he hears the door unlatch and Travis emerges. 

“Oh, hey,” she says. Her cheeks are flushed pink and he can’t help the way his eyes skim across her broad, tan shoulders.

“Hey,” he says. This right here is why he avoids being alone with her as much as possible. It’s probably not fair, but close like this it’s like she’s a magnet, the pull towards her is deep and undeniable. 

“This fucking sucks,” she says. 

He grimaces. “What does?”

“You know what.” She sounds resigned. He hates it. 

“I know it does,” he says. “But-“

“Ok, unless you’re going to say you changed your mind I’d really prefer to continue enjoying this freakishly nice day.” She shakes her head a little and smiles ruefully. “Come on, Captain. Let’s go drink the rest of Simmer’s beer.”

“I brought the beer.”

“Even more reason to drink it.” She nods her head back towards the pool.

“I actually did come here to pee,” he says, but she’s laughing again at least.

“Not peeing in the pool?” She presses her hand to her chest dramatically. “You really are an adult.”

“Oh my god!” He rolls his eyes and pushes into the washroom. “There better be more than just Bud Light left when I get out there.”

“Take it up with the guy who brought the beer!” She yells back at him.

-

May, Cologne 

He watches her after the official slips the silver medal over her head. She wraps her hand around it and pulls, like she could rip it off if she tried hard enough. 

Halfway through the Swedish anthem she looks at him and he doesn’t look away. Her eyes are huge and wet, and Claude’s heart hurts to look at her. He hates himself for not being able to win this with her, for her.

Claude does his media and talks to the team and by the time he gets back to his hotel room he puts his phone on Do Not Disturb and collapses on the bed.

After a few minutes there’s a knock on the door. Claude considers ignoring it, but he forces himself to get up to see who it is.

He opens the door and Travis stands in front of him, looking more vulnerable than he’s ever seen her. He desperately wants to pretend he doesn’t know why she’s there. 

Instead he sighs and says, “TK, I can’t.”

“The tournament is over, you’re not my Captain anymore.”

Claude laughs hollowly. “Yes, I am.”

“I know you want this,” she says quietly. Claude does, he wants her so much, has for so long.

“Travis,” he tries. He’s holding onto his last shred of self control, but there’s a silver medal in his suitcase where a gold should be and he’d spent a long season pretending his heart didn’t jump at the sound of her voice. He’s tired. “Go find Marns, or one of the Breydens.”

“I don’t,” she says and she sounds frustrated or maybe sad. “G, please.”

Later he’ll tell himself it was the please that did it, but Claude was always going to let her in. If not at that exact moment, eventually.

He opens the door for her and she steps around him into the small hallway of his hotel room. She grabs ahold of his shirt and pulls him with her until her back is against the wall.

“We have to talk about this,” he says softly. His heart is pounding in his chest.

She grins, like he’d said something funny. “Yeah, but not right now.”

Claude doesn’t wait a second longer to kiss her. He feels it all through his body, like he’d finally found water after days lost in the desert. In that moment he knows he is never going to go back from knowing how it feels to kiss her. His whole life would be divided into what had come before and what came after.

-

November, Montreal

He’s cutting it close to curfew when he gets back to the hotel from dinner to find TK sitting in the hallway on her phone. 

“You know if you get locked out, the front desk will just give you a new key.” She twitches a little at the sound of his voice.

“Provy picked up tonight. She said she needed a couple hours, but I’m sure she’ll be done soon.” She leers a little to punctuate her point.

“Why don’t you just go to Patty’s room?” 

“He says I can’t come back until I stop.” She makes exaggerated air quotes around the word stop.

“Stop what? You know what never mind, I don’t want to know.” She smiles at him and he hates himself for how much it lights him up. “Why don’t you just… stop?”

“Fuck that, you can’t just, like, tell an Eagle not to fly or tiger to stop having stripes." 

“Ok, Jesus Christ,” he says and motions down the hall. “You can crash with me if you want. They gave me two doubles tonight.”

“Aye aye, Captain!” She springs to her feet and trails after him. 

When the door is closed he begins to feel like he’s made a mistake. They haven’t been alone in a hotel room since Germany and the proximity is making his skin itch.

She stands by the door and watches him closely. “When did I start making you so nervous?”

“I don’t know, probably your first day at camp,” he says honestly. 

“Holy shit,” she says, but like she means it. They’ve never talked about it, but he assumed she’d known.

“Drop it ok, or I’ll make you sleep in the hallway.” She holds up her hands up in surrender. 

He tosses her a t-shirt and a pair of shorts and she changes right there, like they’re in the locker room. Claude pretends to be looking for something in his suitcase until he’s sure she’s done. 

It’s late and Claude would love to act like he’s not dead tired, but he doesn’t have it in him. “I’m going to bed, but feel free to watch TV or whatever.”

She nods and stretches out on the other bed, fiddling with her phone. Claude strips down to his boxers and gets under the covers, turning his back to her. He closes his eyes, but despite the bone deep exhaustion he can’t relax with her this close. It’s like every fiber of his being is tuned in to her.

He feels the bed dip as she slides under the covers. He tenses up, but stays still. “I promise I won’t try anything,” she whispers. “Can I just, stay here with you tonight?”

His breath is caught in his throat and he feels like he couldn’t speak if he tried. He nods softly and she slides across the bed, tucking herself behind him and wrapping an arm around his stomach. 

Claude threads their fingers together and pulls her closer. There are still scabs on her knuckles from the fight with Kreider. He knows he shouldn’t, but he lets the feeling of her breath on his neck lull him to sleep.

He wakes up alone. His clothes are folded sloppily at the end of the other bed. Claude isn’t sure he’s seen Travis fold clothes since he met her. He stares at them for a long time.

-

May, Cologne 

Claude tries to go down on her, kissing across her chest and down her belly, but she yanks him up to kiss him. 

“Just fuck me. I’m already so wet.” She takes his hand and brings it between her folds to show him. He gasps wetly against her neck. “Claude, come on do it.”

Over the course of the season Claude has come up with a lot of strategies to get TK to stop running her mouth, but instead he just kisses her. She responds hungrily, both hands in his hair.

She’s bossy in the way she kisses, and Claude goes with it, letting her control the pace, nipping softly at his bottom lip when he doesn’t do it exactly how she wants.

He presses kisses down her neck and sucks gently at the skin where it meets her shoulder. 

He’s waited for this for so long he doesn’t think he can wait a second longer, but he finally has her naked underneath him and he wants to take his time. It’s overwhelming his senses and he lingers his hands across every inch of her.

“God, you feel so,” he says, but kisses her instead of finishing whatever half formed thought he was in the middle of. He can see from her face that he’s not alone in feeling this way, but whatever self preservation he has left keeps him from saying the one thing he can’t take back.

He can barely force himself to get up and pull a condom out of his toiletry bag and then he almost can’t roll it on his hands are shaking so hard. 

She makes a small wounded noise when he slides into her and holds him close as he starts to move. 

-

November, Philadelphia 

The last of the media has emptied out when Claude hears voices rising above the din of the room.

“I’m not mad it’s girls deodorant,” Nolan says calmly and then more viciously, “it’s that you purposely tricked me!”

“Patty, come on,” Provy says like that’s unreasonable, but a smile spreads across TK’s face and Claude has to bite the inside of his cheek not to laugh.

“See! I knew it!” Nolan jabs his finger accusingly at Travis’s chest. They’re both sweaty and half dressed.

“I wasn’t trying to trick you! I was trying to prove a point.” Travis says and raises her eyebrows. “And I totally did.”

“What point was that?” Nolan’s cheeks are growing pinker by the second.

“That there is no difference between products for men and women!” Travis says, smug. “You guys always act like such babies about using my stuff unless it says For Men on it.” She glances at Claude and he tries very hard not to grin back at her. Captains shouldn’t take sides.

“Oh my god!” Nolan throws his head back.

Claude heads to the showers, because this particular blowout seems to be running its course and by the time he gets back to the locker room they’re both sitting in Nolan’s stall watching a video on his phone.

Coots tosses a rolled up piece of tape at him. “When the media talks about women causing problems in the locker room, I doubt this is what they imagine.” Claude snorts, because it’s true. Although no one ever really expects TK. He sure didn’t.

-

May, Cologne 

Claude is no stranger to pain. He’s played through so much he thinks sometimes he doesn’t understand what playing hurt even means. So the pain in his chest is barely a blip in comparison to how good it feels to finally touch Travis the way he’s been dreaming of.

“Fuck, G, I - oh my god,” Travis is babbling in his ear, a string of bitten off half sentences. 

“What do you need?” He rests his forehead against hers and slows the roll of his hips, trying to feel every inch of her.

“G, don’t stop,” she sobs.

He wants to say something, but he doesn’t really trust himself, so he just repeats her name as he comes. 

His head is still swimming from orgasm when he slips down and gets his mouth on her. It mostly tastes like latex, but she arches off the bed and moans his name, digging her fingers into his hair. 

It doesn’t take her long to come and afterwards he collapses on the bed with his head on her hip.

“Don’t sleep down there,” she says. He’s never heard her voice sound soft like that.

With the afterglow gone he realizes the condom had slipped off while he was eating her out and spilled on the the bedspread. He picks it up and hopes she doesn’t notice. He brushes his teeth and washes his face. When he comes back into the room Travis is under the covers. She watches him warily.

Before he can speak she jumps in. “Can we not talk about it tonight?” She takes her hair out of the bun and runs her fingers through it. “I just don’t think I can have my heart broken twice in one night.”

He wants to tell her that she’s wrong, but she’s not. “TK,” he starts, but he doesn’t feel any more ready to talk about it than she does. “Ok, tomorrow.”

The hotel sheets feel cool to the touch when he slides in beside her. He lays his head on the pillow next to her and pushes the hair out of her face. After a minute she curls around him, laying her head on his chest. He tries to stay awake as long as he can, but the day catches up to him faster than he’d like and he falls asleep holding her close.

-

December, Philadelphia 

Claude doesn’t take his coat off when he gets home, cuts straight across his apartment to the balcony. From here he can hear the party at Leirsy’s going strong. It’s not even midnight, but Claude isn’t sure he can be around when the ball drops.

Travis had looked stunning tonight, wearing a leather jumpsuit thing that made her look equally beautiful and deadly. Every time he’d seen her she’d been talking to a different guy Claude didn’t recognize. He’s happy for her, she deserves to be with someone who appreciates her, but that doesn’t mean he has to watch it happen.

His self pitying spiral is interrupted by the sound of the sliding door opening behind him, but instead of Simmer or Coots, who actually have keys to his apartment, it’s Travis. 

“Your door was unlocked,” she says. “I knocked.” 

“I’m surprised you noticed I left,” Claude says, the champagne making his tongue loose. “You seemed occupied.”

Travis rolls her eyes and closes the door behind her. “Wow, fuck off.”

“What you want from me?” Claude says. He watches his words come out in tiny puffs. 

“You know what I want,” Travis says, a tremor running through her voice. “I want you to admit you want this just as much as I do.” She raises her voice and juts her chin out.

“Of course I do!” It explodes out of him. “I want you so much sometimes it hurts just to be around you.” He deflates a little. “You think you’re the only one that feels this way, but you’re not.”

“Then I don’t understand,” she says. “I don’t understand why we don’t do something about it.”

“Because how we feel isn’t the only factor. I’m still your captain and you’re still twenty years old.”

“Who cares?” She takes a step forward and he takes one back. 

“I care, the media cares.” Claude’s fingers are starting to go numb. “Your parents would probably care if you brought some 30 year old home for Christmas!”

“I think you’re a coward,” she spits out. 

They should probably go inside, but the wind blowing sharp and cold against across his cheeks is keeping him alert. Claude isn’t sure he trusts this conversation inside.

“I know you don’t like to hear this,” he says, “but you’re still so young.” She makes a noise of dissent but he raises his hand. “Eventually you’ll realize that the way you feel isn’t the only thing that matters.”

“You know what I think? I think you’re going to regret this for a long, long time.” She’s finally crying, fat tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I know I will,” he says. 

“Fuck.” She wipes at her face with the sleeve of her coat.

“It doesn’t feel like it now, but you’ll feel this way again. With someone who can love you back.”

“Don’t do that,” she says. “It’s condescending and I hate it.”

“I’m sorry,” he can’t help but smile at the put out look on her face. “You’re right.”

“No shit,” she says, but she smiles back at him, teary and sad.

“I wish things were different,” Claude says. “I really do.”

“They could,” she starts and takes a breath. “Me too.”

“Let’s go inside.” He takes a step towards her, but stops when he hears a countdown rising up from somewhere below them. 

Travis takes a step towards him and this time he doesn’t move away. Her eye make-up is blurred and smudged around her eyes, but she’s still hopelessly beautiful. Claude runs his thumb across her cheek. She leans into his hand. “Happy new year,” she whispers and leans in to kiss him.

This kiss is gentle, softer and tentative in a way he didn’t think Travis could be. He keeps his hand cupped around her cheek and puts everything he feels into it.

This time it’s her who pulls back. “Ok, I’m gonna go.”

He swallows, trying to keep the tears at bay, at least until she leaves. “Ok.”

She pauses before she gets to the door and turns around. “I meant what I said in Cologne.” Her voice doesn’t waver. “I’ll be here, when you change your mind.”

-

May, Cologne

She’s gone when he wakes up. He doesn’t realize how gone until he sees an Instagram post from Brayden Schenn. It’s Travis boarding a train, her back to the camera. The caption says, “Euro-Teek.”

He doesn’t see the note until he’s checking the room to make sure he didn’t forget anything. It must fallen off the bedside table, because he finds it sitting face down on the carpet.

It reads, _I think this is worth it and I’m willing to wait until you think so too._

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [Heart to Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CPeHQHAQyo) by Kim Petras.


End file.
